Secret Scotland

If it's secret, and in Scotland…

Coincidence… can be crap for some people


It’s not often I can say I get a laugh thanks to doggie doo-doo (since I’m usually too busy cursing it, and tracking down the source of the smell shortly after I arrive home and discover I’ve walked somebody’s dog turd into the house), but I did enjoy a good laugh today, courtesy of a big tall guy, and a tiny white puppy.

As I turned the last corner before arriving home, I saw a guy and his tiny fluff-ball of a puppy at my gate – and the guy was doing his best to get the pup to do it’s best… in front of the entrance to my house.

Of course, he had no way of knowing the guy about to pass him was the owner of the drive where he was trying to get his little darling to leave its stinking load.

I ignored him, but still had to make my way around him and his tiny poop-machine in order to get to my gate and get into my drive – so he knew he had been caught, or rather his dog had been caught, with its trousers down and dumping on the footpath.

Although I’m not part of it, the residents have been creating a big stink about dog mess over the past few years, as it has become chronic. We have signs on most lampposts warning dog owners of the fine that can be levied against them if they do not pick up their dog’s deposits, and the last political newsletter our MP circulated stated that he was making it a campaign issue, and would support anyone taking action against offending dog owners.

Back at my gate, the fun had started.

Since I had bags of shopping, and a double locked front door, I didn’t have to try to take a long time to get indoors. Without staring at the guy, I could see him panicking as he rummaged through all his pocket for the handy plastic bag he would not have bothered using if I had not arrived while his pup was pooping. The cameras on the house might have helped too, since he might have thought his face had  been caught, and I could tie him and his dog to the event, and maybe that fine mentioned on the lampposts Notably, most dog owners hereabouts walk their dogs with such a bag in their hand, ready to collect the ‘product’ – but not this guy, much to my amusement.

By the time I opened my door and turned around, he had completely disappeared – and there was no gift lying on the pavement either.

Little white pup

Coincidentally, a pup much like the one involved had been on Cheezburger recently. As you can see, it couldn’t have left much… they guy must have been carrying tweezers to help him retrieve anything it dropped/

I used to leave my gates open until a few years ago, when I guess some of the locals started sharing their homes with giant dogs. These monsters weren’t stupid, and didn’t dump in their own ground, but would wander into gardens where the gates were open, and many was the time I found a pile of brown muck sitting in the middle of the path around my house. At least those dogs are too big to get through the spaces in the iron work, and I no longer have that particular job to do, and clear up behind these monsters, who can easily leave a pound or two to be scraped up and discarded.


January 19, 2013 - Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , ,

1 Comment »

  1. Bully for you.
    People say they are taking their dogs for a walk……. no they aren’t….. they really mean a bowel movement away from their own house.
    When I was young the horses in the street had a leather bag hung under their tails to catch their excrement.
    I vote it should be compulsory to have all poophounds kitted out in the same manner.


    Comment by John Smith | January 20, 2013

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