Secret Scotland

If it's secret, and in Scotland…

Has Nessie given up and gone away to get away from celebrities

In what might be referred as ‘The Good Old Days’, celebrities earned their title by becoming popular and famous for something they had done. While their achievements may at times have been debatable, they at least did something, be that some sort of talent which brought them fame as an actor or film star, or for being some sort of daredevil who risked (and could actually lose) their life.

Today, the title means little or nothing, with countless magazines full of stories about people who appear to do nothing other than become famous for being famous, and be referred to as celebrities. They also seem to have obscene amounts of money handed to them for nothing more than showing their faces in public, which seems to bring out crowds of people who want to see them.

Other than some sort of mass hysteria, I can’t see why, since many of them seem to be badly behaved, spoilt, often turning up in secret drink or drug rehabilitation centres, in trouble with the authorities, and even ending up in jail, especially if allowed to drive.

The BBC recently noted that Nessie had not been sighted for something like 18 months:

For the first time in almost 90 years no “confirmed sightings” have been made of the Loch Ness Monster, a veteran Nessie spotter has said.

Gary Campbell, who keeps a register of sightings, said no-one had come forward in 18 months to say they had seen the monster.

Bookmaker William Hill also said the three entries to its annual Nessie spotting contest could be explained.

They were images of a wave, a duck and a picture not even taken on Loch Ness.

Mr Campbell said it was the first time since 1925 that there had been no confirmed reports of the monster.

He said: “It’s very upsetting news and we don’t know where she’s gone.

“The number of sightings has been reducing since the turn of the century but this is the first time in almost 90 years that Nessie wasn’t seen at all.”

Via No Loch Ness Monster sightings for first time since 1925

I don’t really see much of a mystery here, and the poor monster has probably decided “Enough is enough”, and gone off somewhere for some peace and quiet, and to avoid being tainted with tar carried by the brush of the modern so-called celebrity.

I can just picture the scene, as Nessie waits on the pier for the next steamer, having polished of the ‘celebrities’ for lunch, before heading off into the distance for some a break:

It’s not that long since I spotted a couple of stories that would have had me heading off into the hills (if I was Nessie):

Nessie’s shame – being hunted by Charlie Sheen

Spanish footballer loses marbles and promises to find Nessie this summer

There could be more, but I tend to avoid any stories that smell of celebrity content, so could easily have missed them.

She’s probably not to keen on being hunted down, and it seems that at one point even the Government was considering the use of trained dolphins to make the search more effective, and back in 2006, the Sunday Times informed us that it had a Freedom of Information result which revealed that in May 1979, David Weymouth (a civil servant in the Department of the Environment) had written a letter to Stewart Walker at the Scottish Home and Health Department, showing that the Government wanted a licence to initiate the plan:

Whitehall mandarins planned to import the highly intelligent mammals from America to establish once and for all whether Nessie existed.

The scheme followed years of inter-departmental discussion about the possible tourism benefits if the fabled creature was ever discovered.

Last week The Sunday Times revealed how civil servants had obsessed about whether there would be legal protection from poachers and bounty hunters if Nessie were to emerge from the depths.

Now declassified government files, released under the Freedom of Information Act, reveal that the government was prepared to incur the wrath of animal rights groups in its quest to establish the truth about the monster.

Via Revealed: plan to hunt Nessie using dolphins | The Sunday Times

I’m not quite sure what the Sunday Times was on about when it said “the government was prepared to incur the wrath of animal rights groups“, other than maybe whipping up or provoking some sort of controversy.

While the loch might not be their natural habitat, unless the animal rights groups were expected to complain about the chances of Nessie eating the dolphins, then I can’t see much to incur the wrath, even of extremists.

And for the time (the 1970s or so), I think other top-secret projects involving dolphins were much more hazardous – such as being airlifted around the world to various conflict in order to seek out sea mines. A task they could apparently carry out much faster than any electronic devices.

Dolphins

“Should we tell the humans we found her, or just let the poor saps keep guessing?”

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February 24, 2014 - Posted by | Civilian | , , , ,

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