Secret Scotland

If it's secret, and in Scotland…

Celtic clearly chose the wrong planners

My first thought on seeing a story about Celtic FC building a hotel and museum was to wonder why the proposal was to have it near the apparently empty Emirates shed built for the dopey 2014 Commonwealth Shames.

I’ve yet to walk past this huge hangar and see anything happening there.

It’s surrounded by a vast car park that lies empty too, with only a handful of cars to be seen whenever I walk through the deserted space.

The only useful thing I’ve seen there is an EV charging spot, but even that has never had a vehicle present when I’ve been there.

I’ve seen more activity in the waste management site across the road from this place, which produces a lovely ‘odour’ that wafts across the road to the arena when the wind is in the right direction!

Celtic FC hotel and museum ‘would create 120 new jobs’

But the saddest part of this news release was the part when it became clear that the planners chosen did not have a clue about the area, as they stated:

The statement continued: “The direct creation of over 100 new employment opportunities will be a major boost to the area and will clearly contribute towards the key planning aim of achieving sustainable economic growth.

There is currently no quality hotel accommodation within the area between the city centre and Tollcross despite the key attractions of Celtic Park and the Emirates Arena.

“The current lack of hotel accommodation in the vicinity means that everyone attending events at the football stadium or the arena requires to travel on the day of the event, adding to traffic volumes in the surrounding area.”

It added: “By locating the proposed hotel immediately beside the stadium and arena pressure on the local transport network will be reduced, particularly at times of peak movement.

“Experience elsewhere also demonstrates that hotel restaurant and cafe/bar facilities adjoining a football stadium can help to spread the timing of trips over a greater time period avoiding peak periods.”

Seriously?

These planners clearly failed to do their homework, and take note of The Bellgrove Hotel, just a short distance away, in the Gallowgate.

Seems ideal to me.

Bellgrove Hotel

Bellgrove Hotel

June 20, 2017 Posted by | Civilian | , , , | Leave a comment

Anybody lost a drunk celebrity?

Harrods Booze Bag

Harrods Booze Bag

When I came across this tacky Harrods bag at the side of the south-bound lane of the A74 dual-carriageway, complete with the broken glass of a bottle of booze (label unfortunately ruined and unreadable) and a plastic bottle of something to mix with it…

All I could think of was the image of some drunk, waste-of-skin celebrity, embedded in the front of a London-bound lorry they had staggered in front if in their stupor.

But – probably not.

And we’re not supposed to think such thoughts anyway, since humour from such a scenario, probably fatal, is not allowed these days.

Let’s forget that though, and just imagine the removal of one celebrity as illustrated by this Vietnamese police officer, who tried to ticket a coach, only to the find the driver was having a bad day:

Vietnam Coach with Police Attached

Vietnam Coach with Police Attached

Just picture your (least) favourite waste-of-skin holding on like that for the 400+ mile jolly down to London.

Sad to say, not likely these days since the M74 extension opened nearby, and took most of this traffic away.

June 20, 2017 Posted by | Civilian, photography | , , , | Leave a comment

Hope the cat is OK and got a new home

Spotted this sad and sorry sight on the way home recently.

I hope the resident wasn’t injured in the collapse of their home, but then again, it might have been their own fault, and the place just couldn’t stand the strain of all those ‘pussy pound’ bearing down on it, and just gave up one day.

Fat Cat Broken Home

Fat Cat Broken Home

This may be a build defect which the local planning authority has failed to catch during the inspection and approval process, as many similar cases of cats becoming homeless after such a disaster can be found online.

Perhaps it is not actually the cats that are the cause, but poorly designed and manufactured perches.

Perhaps we need the Americans to raise the first multi-million dollar class action against the manufacturers and suppliers of these potentially deadly high-rise structures, so that responsibility for failures can be properly established in court?

Online example of imminent and actual failure:

Fat Cat Broken Perch

Fat Cat Broken Perch

June 6, 2017 Posted by | Lost, photography | , , , , | Leave a comment

Would you go for a date in this car?

I’d actually walked past this Mini in Shettleston before the potential of the registration number occurred to me, but I almost automatically run the options in my head as I read a plate.

I don’t like personalised registrations that need the utilisation of a code-book (and illegal character spacing) to work out what the owner had in mind when they bought it.

Letter prefix ‘D’ means this is originally a 1986/7 issue, so not original to this 2005 Mini Cooper and a deliberate choice by the owner.

And it doesn’t take much imagination or effort (or a code-book) to read ‘Date Kill’ from ‘D8 KLL’.

Mini Cooper Registration D8 KLL

Mini Cooper

May 12, 2017 Posted by | Civilian, photography, Transport | , , | Leave a comment

Nae Eye Deer roam Cunningar Loop Woodland Park

Following on from the previous sculpture post

Love it loathe, Glasgow humour works, even if can’t be understood, or needs translation for ‘foreigners’.

I saw these deer in their unmolested form just after the park opened and I (finally) got to have a wander around the loop. I was so shocked at finally getting into the place, after trying for about FIVE* years (maybe more, I can’t remember when I first tried to get onto the loop), I forgot about that batch of pics, and never got around to using them.

But back to the fun, and when I had a quick wander after the new footbridge over the River Clyde was found to be finished and open recently, re-acquainted myself with some of the residents.

Cunningar Loop Nae Eye Deer

Cunningar Loop Nae Eye Deer

Translation:

Whit’s thatWhat is that?

Nay eye deerNo idea.

Genius!

Please note also that Scots are NOT grammatically illiterate, and the apostrophe has been both placed and used correctly.

See also:

Deer sculpture story

  • Unfortunately, I found out how to access the area of Cunningar Loop some years before the 2014 Commonwealth Shames were inflicted on Glaswegians, and when I took a walk to the access road found my way barred by gates and fencing, but was promised a great new park was being created behind, and would be open BEFORE the Shames began.

Of course, this never happened, but the fences and gates stayed up, promises of the park continued, funding apparently dried up, more promises, and two years after the Shames the place did finally materialise, and even got its bridge.

So, not at all bad in the end, and as someone who lives on the opposite side of the river from the original access road in Dalmarnock, I also appreciate that new bridge

May 6, 2017 Posted by | Civilian, photography | , , | Leave a comment

Our workers are as thick as bricks

Even though one of my jobs involved proceduralising work process and writing instructions for staff to detail how they should carry out their jobs, this never went down to the sort of detail that suggested they were as ‘Thick as bricks’.

But I do wonder when I come across examples.

This one had me smiling, or was I shaking my head?

While disposing of some packaging the light caught it from behind I noticed that the label appeared to have some under-printing:

Final label

Final label

I couldn’t quite make out the detail of the wording, but suspected it was maybe a misprint, or maybe a pricing error that had slipped through, and a second label had been applied to correct it.

Or had I found some sort of secret code or message?

Fortunately (or maybe not) the second label was not applied with permanent adhesive, and what was below was a bit of a surprise (for me at least):

Instruction

Instruction

I’m almost afraid to ask…

Where were the employees putting the labels BEFORE they were given this vital clue as to the correct position?

April 13, 2017 Posted by | Civilian | , | Leave a comment

Did I spot some Trump/SCROTUS ‘funny money’ in Glasgow?

Just a quickie, but…

While I was passing through Glasgow city centre recently, I spotted some ‘funny money’ in a phone box, and wondered if was some of the money Trump/SCROTUS (So-Called Ruler of the United States) had perhaps been handing out recently to buy…

SCROTUS money?

SCROTUS money?

 

April 4, 2017 Posted by | Civilian, photography | , , | Leave a comment

Happy April 1

True… oh so true…

April Fool

April 1, 2017 Posted by | Uncategorized | , | Leave a comment

No dog fouling

Sprayed on a local footpath.

I always like these over-simplified signs which are open to interpretation.

Does it inform us that there is ‘No dog fouling’ in this area, in the sense that a survey has been carried out and that it was found that there were no, or zero, dogs found to be fouling in the area, and this sign has been proudly sprayed to tell everyone lucky enough to walk here?

Or is there only one ‘dog fouling’ here, and its name is ‘No’.

Or is it instructional, and people are expected to shout ‘No’ if they see a ‘dog fouling’.

Or is it meant for dogs to read, saying ‘No’ to any ‘dog fouling’.

Or is it a pic of ‘No dog’ taken while he was ‘fouling’ and intended to shame him into not doing it again.

Can I go on? Thankfully, no (I have other things to do).

Not sure exactly where, I think near Haymarket St and Marfield St in Carntyne.

I only saw 4 sprayed nearby, so wonder if it is just a resident’s handiwork, and not an official instruction.

Seems a little unfair, as I walk the streets quite a bit nowadays, and have been quite impressed as nearly every dog walker I see, even on grassed areas, seems to be prepared to carry little black plastic bags, and collect their pet’s ‘soft warm gift’ without flinching. So much so, passing overflowing street bins in anything resembling warm weather is now best carried out at a distance, or at least holding breath until past. An unfortunate effect of council cuts and reduced collections combine with a successful campaign to gain dog walker’s cooperation.

No dog fouling

No dog fouling

March 5, 2017 Posted by | Civilian, photography | , , | Leave a comment

Dead ratchet

Just a bit of fun, noticed while I was walking near Bridgeton.

I was semi-lucky a while back – while waiting to cross the road I happened to look down and was surprised to see a bundle of assorted ½″ ratchet drives and extensions. All told there was a ratchet (two different types on closer inspection), an extension, a breaker bar, and even some sockets attached. Handily, these were 10 mm (I seem to eat 10 mm sockets), but after still closer inspection were found to be GLUED on to the square drives.

Odd, but like most glues, the application of a little heat let them all be dismantled, serviced (they were not previously owned by someone who cared about their tools, no great surprise if their boss had to glue their sockets to their drives), and added to my reserves as spares, or for nasty jobs.

I wasn’t so lucky this time, no ‘free’ tools this time.

As can be seen, this ratchet is a dead ratchet since all its guts have gone, and it’s rusty after being driven over, ruining its chrome plating.

Dead ratchet

Dead ratchet

It was probably forgotten while somebody was working underneath a car.

I remember assisting with some tests on my own car, and was surprised when the engineer tapped on the door and handed me a couple of spanners. When I asked him why, he replied that he guessed they were probably mine… he’d just taken them off the rear brake fixings!

They were – I’d just finished the assembly before driving to the garage, and clean forgot to remove them,  and they hadn’t even fallen off during the drive. At least I didn’t lose them, even if I was just a little embarrassed.

February 26, 2017 Posted by | Civilian, photography, Transport | , , | Leave a comment

Shocking gun find dug up in my garden – and an old advert found too

I don’t (daren’t) write about guns any more – in Scotland, anything that might attract attention to an interest in guns is likely to end with the ‘gift’ of a mandatory 5 year jail sentence.

While the criminal classes can freely wander around with a gun stuffed down their trousers, beware if you are an old granny that finds her deceased partners rusty old wartime service revolver or similar lying forgotten somewhere in their house. Mention it, or let it be found for some other reason, and her feet will generally not touch the ground as she is rushed into the nearest prison, followed by a media shaming campaign to get her released.

Don’t believe me?

Try looking the scenario up online.

I thought I was going to have to order a false passport and identity last year, and make a run for it abroad, after I dug up some gun parts in back garden. Worse still, it was a machine gun, which would really upset some people…

Plastic BB gun

Plastic BB gun

It’s taken a while to positively identify this, but I was looking through some old advert collections and… there was the same gun, complete!

There was no info about the ad, so I have to guess it (and the toy) date from the 1960s, but may have been produced for some years, and originate in the 1950s.

Sad to say, this was the ONLY part I found, but it cleaned up well, considering it must have been buried there for almost 50 years.

Still, it was a nice change to find something identifiable – usually all I get is tiny fragments not worth bothering about.

Here’s the advert:

Plastic BB gun old advert

Plastic BB gun old advert

February 19, 2017 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , | Leave a comment

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