Secret Scotland

If it's secret, and in Scotland…

Our workers are as thick as bricks

Even though one of my jobs involved proceduralising work process and writing instructions for staff to detail how they should carry out their jobs, this never went down to the sort of detail that suggested they were as ‘Thick as bricks’.

But I do wonder when I come across examples.

This one had me smiling, or was I shaking my head?

While disposing of some packaging the light caught it from behind I noticed that the label appeared to have some under-printing:

Final label

Final label

I couldn’t quite make out the detail of the wording, but suspected it was maybe a misprint, or maybe a pricing error that had slipped through, and a second label had been applied to correct it.

Or had I found some sort of secret code or message?

Fortunately (or maybe not) the second label was not applied with permanent adhesive, and what was below was a bit of a surprise (for me at least):



I’m almost afraid to ask…

Where were the employees putting the labels BEFORE they were given this vital clue as to the correct position?

April 13, 2017 Posted by | Civilian | , | Leave a comment

Did I spot some Trump/SCROTUS ‘funny money’ in Glasgow?

Just a quickie, but…

While I was passing through Glasgow city centre recently, I spotted some ‘funny money’ in a phone box, and wondered if was some of the money Trump/SCROTUS (So-Called Ruler of the United States) had perhaps been handing out recently to buy…

SCROTUS money?

SCROTUS money?


April 4, 2017 Posted by | Civilian, photography | , , | Leave a comment

Happy April 1

True… oh so true…

April Fool

April 1, 2017 Posted by | Uncategorized | , | Leave a comment

No dog fouling

Sprayed on a local footpath.

I always like these over-simplified signs which are open to interpretation.

Does it inform us that there is ‘No dog fouling’ in this area, in the sense that a survey has been carried out and that it was found that there were no, or zero, dogs found to be fouling in the area, and this sign has been proudly sprayed to tell everyone lucky enough to walk here?

Or is there only one ‘dog fouling’ here, and its name is ‘No’.

Or is it instructional, and people are expected to shout ‘No’ if they see a ‘dog fouling’.

Or is it meant for dogs to read, saying ‘No’ to any ‘dog fouling’.

Or is it a pic of ‘No dog’ taken while he was ‘fouling’ and intended to shame him into not doing it again.

Can I go on? Thankfully, no (I have other things to do).

Not sure exactly where, I think near Haymarket St and Marfield St in Carntyne.

I only saw 4 sprayed nearby, so wonder if it is just a resident’s handiwork, and not an official instruction.

Seems a little unfair, as I walk the streets quite a bit nowadays, and have been quite impressed as nearly every dog walker I see, even on grassed areas, seems to be prepared to carry little black plastic bags, and collect their pet’s ‘soft warm gift’ without flinching. So much so, passing overflowing street bins in anything resembling warm weather is now best carried out at a distance, or at least holding breath until past. An unfortunate effect of council cuts and reduced collections combine with a successful campaign to gain dog walker’s cooperation.

No dog fouling

No dog fouling

March 5, 2017 Posted by | Civilian, photography | , , | Leave a comment

Dead ratchet

Just a bit of fun, noticed while I was walking near Bridgeton.

I was semi-lucky a while back – while waiting to cross the road I happened to look down and was surprised to see a bundle of assorted ½″ ratchet drives and extensions. All told there was a ratchet (two different types on closer inspection), an extension, a breaker bar, and even some sockets attached. Handily, these were 10 mm (I seem to eat 10 mm sockets), but after still closer inspection were found to be GLUED on to the square drives.

Odd, but like most glues, the application of a little heat let them all be dismantled, serviced (they were not previously owned by someone who cared about their tools, no great surprise if their boss had to glue their sockets to their drives), and added to my reserves as spares, or for nasty jobs.

I wasn’t so lucky this time, no ‘free’ tools this time.

As can be seen, this ratchet is a dead ratchet since all its guts have gone, and it’s rusty after being driven over, ruining its chrome plating.

Dead ratchet

Dead ratchet

It was probably forgotten while somebody was working underneath a car.

I remember assisting with some tests on my own car, and was surprised when the engineer tapped on the door and handed me a couple of spanners. When I asked him why, he replied that he guessed they were probably mine… he’d just taken them off the rear brake fixings!

They were – I’d just finished the assembly before driving to the garage, and clean forgot to remove them,  and they hadn’t even fallen off during the drive. At least I didn’t lose them, even if I was just a little embarrassed.

February 26, 2017 Posted by | Civilian, photography, Transport | , , | Leave a comment

Shocking gun find dug up in my garden – and an old advert found too

I don’t (daren’t) write about guns any more – in Scotland, anything that might attract attention to an interest in guns is likely to end with the ‘gift’ of a mandatory 5 year jail sentence.

While the criminal classes can freely wander around with a gun stuffed down their trousers, beware if you are an old granny that finds her deceased partners rusty old wartime service revolver or similar lying forgotten somewhere in their house. Mention it, or let it be found for some other reason, and her feet will generally not touch the ground as she is rushed into the nearest prison, followed by a media shaming campaign to get her released.

Don’t believe me?

Try looking the scenario up online.

I thought I was going to have to order a false passport and identity last year, and make a run for it abroad, after I dug up some gun parts in back garden. Worse still, it was a machine gun, which would really upset some people…

Plastic BB gun

Plastic BB gun

It’s taken a while to positively identify this, but I was looking through some old advert collections and… there was the same gun, complete!

There was no info about the ad, so I have to guess it (and the toy) date from the 1960s, but may have been produced for some years, and originate in the 1950s.

Sad to say, this was the ONLY part I found, but it cleaned up well, considering it must have been buried there for almost 50 years.

Still, it was a nice change to find something identifiable – usually all I get is tiny fragments not worth bothering about.

Here’s the advert:

Plastic BB gun old advert

Plastic BB gun old advert

February 19, 2017 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , | Leave a comment

Just the one please

I was reminded of days long gone, when milk was delivered to homes every morning, when I spotted what looked like someone asking for “Just the one pint please” in Carntyne – something I guess needs to be explained for some.

Milk came in glass bottles then, containing one pint. No cardboard boxes with one litre, or the plastic bottles also common today. Delivering milk then was also a noisy job, and bad luck if a long lie was wanted in the morning, as the milkman crashed around and the bottles shook and rattled together.

But no such things today, just this attempt at a bit of humour with an old glove stuck on a plastic container jammed in a hedge:

One please distant

One please distant

And getting a bit closer…

One Please

One Please

February 17, 2017 Posted by | Civilian, photography | , | 2 Comments

These are the street signs we really need

These will be gone now, but I thought I’d mention some cute signs I spotted while crossing the road at Glasgow Cross.

I didn’t notice them at first (we are currently having a load of road repairs where I live, so there are signs tacked up daily, and I have stopped bothering to look at them), but one did catch my eye and led me to look at the rest.

It was already dark in the evening, so I had to go back a few days later to complete the set, but even in that short time a number had already been worn away or were falling apart, so these pics are probably all that will be left of them, especially after the wet and windy weather hits them.

The first one looks like a rather good idea – maybe Glasgow District Council should be approached and shown this, and asked to consider making them permanent 😉

Glasgow Cross Spoof

Glasgow Cross Spoof

Glasgow Cross Spoof

Glasgow Cross Spoof

Glasgow Cross Spoof

Glasgow Cross Spoof

Glasgow Cross Spoof

Glasgow Cross Spoof

Glasgow Cross Spoof

November 6, 2015 Posted by | Civilian | , , | Leave a comment

SHOUTING helps get the message over

I’ve been passing this sign for ages, but the location and timing means I usually don’t have a camera to hand, but I finally managed to catch it one day.

Which turned out to be just in time, since it was removed from the fence and thrown in the garden not long after.

Maybe by a grumpy dog, or dog-walker who was offended?

Shouting Dog Sign

It’s huge. Most signs are only the size of two or three bricks.

I found it amusing for various reasons, not least of which being that like the IAMS cat, dogs can’t read.

But mostly because it reminded of the old colonial British stereotype, who, when confronted by locals who could not understand English, somehow though that they would understand their orders by BEING SHOUTED AT! The scene usually takes place in old B&W films of the time.

I wonder if the owners of that sign thought something the same, and that using the print equivalent of shouting, CAPITALS AND BOLD, would somehow make passing dogs understand their sign, and move on to do their business somewhere else.

The CCTV threat was a nice touch – but since they have no cameras…

October 29, 2015 Posted by | Civilian | , | Leave a comment

Eve has left the site

Funny how some pics lead to an unintended series, but the most recent pic has delivered the end of this series.

It started a while ago, when a broken sign led to A tool for Eve at a local hire shop.

A Tool for Eve

A Tool for Eve

Passing the same spot a while later showed the sign had been repaired, and as a result, there was No more tool for Eve.

No Tool for Eve

No Tool for Eve

I thought the sign was becoming something of a liability and expense for the shop, since they were obviously paying to maintain it, but it was falling apart.

Looks like they thought the same – although I think they may have closed, as the sign has been simplified and had the contact details added. The place was closed when I passed this time (I haven’t seen it closed before), and I know another shop along the road closed a while ago, because they opened larger premises nearby. Chances are this one was closed as well, but I’ll have to wait until my next time along this way to find out.

No moreEve

No more Eve at all

May 4, 2014 Posted by | Uncategorized | , | Leave a comment

A big bogging van

Caught this one quite far from its natural habitat, the opposite side of the city.

Wonder how many plumbers and similar have coughed up a few quid to have such a number plate on their vehicles?

They’re hardly rare, so should be relatively easy to find.

I still have to catch the sewage, sludge, and cess-pit vehicles that feature POO plates. I’m sure I’ve come across them in the past, but not, sadly, where I could catch a pic.

Plumbers van B13 BOG

Plumber’s van BOG fun

March 9, 2014 Posted by | photography, Transport | , | Leave a comment

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