Secret Scotland

If it's secret, and in Scotland…

For Grammar Day – Shettleston’s classic howler: Lauras Luscious Lips

We’ve covered today’s arrival as Grammar Day elsewhere, but it seems a recent pic collected on the streets is appropriate as today’s local post.

Lauras Luscious Lips

Lauras Luscious Lips

I had thought it was a ‘Beauty Salon’ – but I was wrong.

I stand corrected as it is an Aesthetics Clinic.

(Silly me).

I suppose I’m wasting my time by spotting the missing apostrophe in that title, which should really be Aesthetics’ Clinic.

Should you be thinking I missed the obvious missing apostrophe while trying to be too clever with the less obvious example, sorry, no.

The top line is missing an apostrophe too – it should be Laura’s luscious Lips.

This is, of course, not the only one in the street, but it is the latest, and a sad reflection of education in 2018.

I caught up with this shop a few nights after tripping over…

Laura’s car bus, but too far from the new shop to catch in the same pic.

Mercedes Hulk [LA11 WRA]

Mercedes Hulk [LA11 WRA]


March 4, 2018 Posted by | Civilian, photography | , , , | Leave a comment

The Dipstick – Rutherglen

I’m not sure when this old sign was revealed, but a check on Google Earth and Street View suggests it has not been seen for years, and probably only came into view in the past year or so. Google’s views don’t show it, but only go back to 2008.

It’s to the right of the auto shop

Interestingly, this smaller shop was once PH Components (visible in the older Street View images).

You can get an idea of the vintage of the old dipstick sign from the phone number, which uses the original 041 Glasgow code, rather than the later 0141 version, introduced when the numbers were revised in the late 1990s to early 2000s.

Yes, that first ‘I’ IS as dipstick.

I might add that this is another late-night low-light shot, despite looking like daylight at first glance, and the bright light casting a shadow from the left is actually coming from the many floodlights Dunlop’s have running next door.

The Dipstick Rutherglen

The Dipstick Rutherglen

December 18, 2017 Posted by | photography, Transport | , , | Leave a comment

Eye see not every picture turns out as expected

I doubt many who have only ever used digital cameras have any REAL appreciation of the ‘smarts’ built into their little ‘Point and Shoot’ marvels, especially camera phones, which I regularly see taking pics under circumstances I would have struggles to record a black and white images, let alone a reasonably rendered colour version (doubt anyone remembers, but colour film could suffer colour shifts under various circumstances).

My own ‘proper’ camera has various corrections built-in, which can be commanded to apply themselves to the recorded image, and correct for distortion, too bright, too dark, and who know what other ‘problem’ areas before the final image is recorded. These work well, and although I kept the previous model of the camera which has none of these, I stay with the new one, and have its predecessor as an emergency backup (although the chances of needing it are slim).


It’s easy to forget what’s happening, and make a casual mistake.

The pic below is one example, and worth remembering the lesson it contains.

While one might recover underexposed pixels – OVEREXPOSED pixels are gone for good.

It’s a simple fact that dark areas of pics are not usually 0% and can be amplified and recovered to at least some degree – but when an area is 100% saturated white then there’s nothing left to recover. While backlighting is seldom a problem thanks to digital exposure control, an overexposed 100% saturated white area is STILL lost, and can’t be recovered, at least not meaningfully.

Case in point, this pic of an illuminated optician’s sign rescued from Glasgow and cleverly displayed in Kelvingrove.

I passed the arch, and stepped back to grab a pic in passing, without thinking – oops!

While the human eye can cope, even a good digital sensor can’t see the same – and we have a decent background, but most of the eyes in the glasses are burnt out by overexposure. What can be recovered is of little use.

Still, it’s nice to see there are still some shots that need a little SKILL to capture – and I will have to remember this the next time I manage a visit.

I’ll be honest and say that even though I am used to spotting scenes where the human eye can catch the extremes of exposure that a camera can’t, this one didn’t really look like one, so I was at least a little surprised to find the ‘fail’ when I got home and reviewed the day’s collection – but the illusion is probably down the museum favouring lower light levels to reduce damage to the exhibits from bright light.

The challenge has been issued – capture this with BOTH the background AND the eyes properly exposed.

Kelvingrove Opticians Sign

Kelvingrove Optician’s Sign

August 18, 2017 Posted by | Civilian, photography | , , | Leave a comment

After posting the most useless shop, let’s try for the most useful

After ending July with the most useless shop ever, I thought I’d better make up for the black humour spawned by that sighting with something that’s actually potentially really just as likely to be tragic, but is generally more likely to raise a laugh.

Here’s the most useful shop (if you have insurance, and have an accident, and need a solicitor).

I guess I don’t need to go digging up past news about accident statistics for this one, unlike yesterday’s where I felt the need to throw in some memory jogging regarding how wealthy we are, here in the east end of Glasgow.

Heck, we probably need solicitors, just to help with the accident claim after we fall off our wallets, so fat because we are all so wealthy here.

Accidents Will Happen

Accidents Will Happen


August 1, 2017 Posted by | Civilian, photography | , , , , | Leave a comment

Most useless shop ever

A little bit of fun to end the month with, I almost burst a gut laughing when I looked across the road and spotted this business/shop in Shettleston. I must have caught them on early closing day.

Wealth Management?

In Glasgow’s east end?

In Shettleston?

Who are they kidding?

Maxim Wealth Management

Maxim Wealth Management

If you believe what you read in the media, or what activists tell you, then this will give you an idea why my funny bone was enjoying itself…

Scotland’s Glasgow areas of Shettleston, Springburn, Maryhill and Baillieston have been named as being among the 10 most deprived spots in the UK.


Scotland’s poorest place located

Scotland’s poorest and richest areas revealed

430,000 Scots kids living on the poverty line shock

I don’t believe most of what I read (to be specific, I believe any FACTS quoted, but not any of the spin, claims, or political drivel attached), and the chances of me not collapsing to the ground in fits of hysterical laughter when an activist starts to speak are… well, ‘slim to nil’ would probably not be too far from the truth.

(Note: That’s a real business in Shettleston, but it’s NOT mentioned in, or the subject of this post!)

July 31, 2017 Posted by | Civilian, photography | , , , , | Leave a comment

No more Shoplifters

While this could have been a happy little story about the restoration of the gallows on Glasgow Green, and the return of a once popular attraction there…

Before executions were held in Duke Street jail and later in Barlinnie, they were held at the entrance to Glasgow Green, in an area called Jocelyn Square facing what is now the High Court building in Saltmarket. The first executions there took place in 1814, and 67 men and four women were hanged there. It’s said they met their ends with their back to the court, facing the Green’s Nelson Monument.

An inscription in the flagstones there reads: “Jocelyn Gate. This area, formerly known as Jocelyn Square, was the site of both the famous Glasgow Fair and, until 1865 of public executions.”

Dr Edward Pritchard was the last to be hanged there in 1865, in an execution that was such a sensation it became one of the city’s greatest tourist attractions that year. Pritchard had been a respectable doctor established in Sauchiehall Street, but was convicted of murdering his wife and mother-in-law by poisoning.

Account of the day tell of thousands of people travelling to watch his execution on the gallows, filling the square and surrounding streets while drinking and celebrating his demise.

It’s not.

In fact, it’s just a sad little story about the loss of a shop sign I’ve enjoyed passing for a number of years.

The pic below was taken exactly one year ago.

But when I passed the same spot a few days ago – the sign was gone, and it looked as if the shop and its neighbours were undergoing a complete refit.

Must be one of the few ‘Shoplifters’ anyone will be sad to see gone.



May 16, 2017 Posted by | Civilian, photography | , , , | Leave a comment

Electrical decay

No prizes for completing the word.

Just a detail I pass frequently – and a bit sad since it probably reflects a failed business as opposed to a relocate on.

Electrician sign derelict


March 30, 2017 Posted by | Civilian, photography | , , , | Leave a comment

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder


From my collection of shop shutter murals, evidence that (L.A.) Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and that pink is the order of the day along this part of Shettleston Road.

In case you hadn’t noticed, this shop front is… PINK!

LA Beauty

LA Beauty

When I pass every day, I can’t help seeing…

Patrick Star

Patrick Star

I’m biased, but I preferred it when this shop was a butcher’s shop.

That was notable for the time a little black kitten was resident, which all the customers loved to visit.

All but one that is.

And the kitten had to go after someone registered an official complaint with the authorities about its presence in the shop.

March 25, 2017 Posted by | Civilian, photography | , , , | Leave a comment

Define ‘ALL’

I won’t spoil other potential posts, but one of the fun things to do while out walking is to read the signs over shops, and those for various promotions or offers. These can be a source of wonder at some of the innocent mistakes made, or of sadness – if their precision regarding grammar and spelling is any indication of the state of out basic education.

Walking through Cambuslang recently, the darkness was pierced by one particularly bright shop, and it carried a ‘LUNCH OFFER’, this being ‘ALL SUPPERS £3.00’.

This was further defined in the small print as being ‘MONDAY TO SATURDAY TILL 2PM’.

(In this case, we’ll pretend not to see the use of ‘TILL’ rather than ‘TIL’).

However… ‘ALL’ in this case does not mean ‘ALL’. In this case, it does not include fish!

If you want a ‘FISH SUPPER’, then you’ll have to dig a little deeper and find another 80 p.

I’ve had to sit through some real fun in court, as the various lawyers and solicitors present argue about the meaning of words, and who has to honour intent, or reasonable meaning, where words are used carelessly. And there’s no escape clause that allows the accused to claim “Words mean what I mean them to mean“. In court, there is a legal rule applied that words mean what they mean as understood by the average person. If you do actually try to redefine words to suit yourself, the Sheriff will make mincemeat out of you, as trying that (and expecting to get away with it) is effectively calling him/her an idiot – and you can be sure that will not go well when it come to summing up, and issuing instructions to the jury.

On a more positive note:

Benny’s glowing shop signs sports a nicely placed and properly used apostrophe. Full marks for this.

Benny's offer

Benny’s offer

Experts may notice some odd geometry in this pic. It wasn’t possible to stand in front of the shop so the pic had to be taken off to one side at fairly steep angle. I recently found I had some software that would correct this automatically, and it does a pretty good job – unless you start to look at the relative geometry of adjacent items. Then, the view suddenly starts to show ‘impossible’ positions of items beside one another. See if you can spot this… place that you can see, but would not actually be able to see if you were standing in front of the shop.

January 3, 2017 Posted by | Civilian, photography | , , | Leave a comment


I’ve been looking at this shop sign for ages, but for various reasons, never been able to stop and catch a pic.

The shop itself is long gone (I assume, since I’ve never seen it open when I’ve been passing), and if business was better, probably another would have opened in the premises and I’d have lost the chance to catch the sign, but I managed it this week, even if the heavens did open and try to make it almost impossible to dare take out a camera that was guaranteed waterproof.

Shoplifters sign


February 22, 2014 Posted by | photography | , , | Leave a comment


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